What About Me? On Self-Worth, Not Being Chosen, and Being Single in Midlife
I've had my dog for fifteen and a half years. And in the voice I made up for him, one of the things I've said the most over those years is, "Hey guys, what about me?" I usually say it when I'm getting ready to leave and he's prancing after me with that look in his eye. It's cute. It's silly.
A couple of weeks ago I stopped and asked myself why I say that. Why that specific phrase. And the answer came back fast: I've been feeling some version of "what about me?" since I was a kid.
This is the reflection that came out of sitting with that.
Listener Questions: What I'd Do Differently, How I Date Now, and What I'd Tell the Other Woman
I asked my Instagram followers what they wanted me to talk about that I hadn't covered yet, and the questions that came in were so good I built a whole episode around five of them. This is what happens when you ask a community of women who've been through it what they actually want to know — they don't ask softballs.
So I'm going to walk through the five I picked and what I said in the episode, because some of these answers I had genuinely never said out loud before.
Why I Don't Regret Being the Other Woman — And Why I Won't Perform Shame for You
I was the other woman for five years and I don't regret it. I would do it again if I went back in time and I was the exact same version of me I was then. And no, I'm not going to apologize for that.
That's the sentence that breaks people. That's the line that lights up my comment section every single week with strangers who have decided they know me well enough to assign me a feeling I'm supposed to be having. Shame. Regret. Remorse. An apology tour. A grovel.
What to Do When Your Husband Keeps Cheating (And You Have Kids)
In January 2009, my guest Naomi Kreske went looking through her husband's phone. She had just spent the weekend alone with three kids — a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and a nine-month-old — while he was away. He came home, said he was tired, told her he was going to put the kids to bed and crash. Something in her gut said check.
Why I've Always Kind of Felt Single, Even in Serious Relationships
I've been a girlfriend, a wife, the other woman. And across every defining relationship, I've still felt single. Here's why.
How to Handle Disappointment in Relationships Without Losing Yourself
Self-awareness is the first step to changing anything in your life. You cannot work through a feeling you can't name. Once I started getting better at identifying my emotions in real time, disappointment got easier to sit with because I stopped confusing it for anger or sadness or betrayal. It's its own thing, and it has its own information to give you.
She Cheated on Her Husband, Got Divorced, and Then Tried to Save the Marriage
Hope shares why she ended her affair, how her husband found out, and what happened when they tried to rebuild their marriage after divorce.
How a Moment at a Stoplight Led to Cheating on Her Husband
A married woman shares why she cheated on her husband — from the moment at a stoplight to the affair she never saw coming.
Reading My Most Judgmental YouTube Comments About Being the Other Woman
I read my most judgmental YouTube comments about being the other woman and responded to every single one without apology.
Why High Performers Cheat — and Why They Can't Stop
Why do high performers cheat and then can't leave? Behavioral scientist Katarina Polonska breaks down the subconscious patterns behind affairs and how to break them.