Getting Back on Dating Apps in Your 40s When You've Been Single a While
For years, my answer to dating apps was a flat no. I'd been single a while. I was independent, comfortable in my own company, and I'd built a life I genuinely liked. Every time the apps came up, I passed. I'd tried them before and never once enjoyed the experience, so why sign up for more of that?
This summer I changed my mind. Not because being alone stopped working for me, but because I actually do want someone in my life, and you can't want that and keep doing nothing about it.
Dating When Your Past Is Public: What Happened When a Hinge Match Googled Me
When I started The Scarlet Edit, I wasn't thinking about my dating life. I was thinking about the show. It didn't cross my mind that putting my whole story out into the world would follow me onto the apps. But it does. I'm single, I'm on Hinge, and I'm Googleable. My Instagram bio says I was the other woman for five years. Anyone I match with can find that in about thirty seconds.
So what actually happens when a date knows your past before he knows you? This week I found out.
How to Get Comfortable Doing Things Alone
I do a lot of things by myself. I eat alone, I travel alone, I go to events alone, and none of it feels like a big deal anymore. But I remember when it did.
This week I drove out to Oxnard by myself to see my favorite comedian run new material at a tiny club. I ended up seated in the front row, about four feet from the stage, and I had the best time. It got me thinking about how many women won't do the thing they actually want to do just because they don't have someone to do it with.
Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone in a New City: What I Learned in Week Three of Summer of George
I could have done all of this from home.
That's the question I kept getting asked once I told people I was spending the summer in Los Angeles as part of my Summer of George series. Couldn't I have joined a gym in Scottsdale? Couldn't I have worked from a coffee shop there? Technically, yes. But I wouldn't have. And that's the whole point.
Back on Dating Apps in Midlife: One Date, One Ghoster, and a Lot to Think About
I swore I'd never get back on a dating app. And then I did.
This is week one of The Summer of George — my commitment from now through September 30 to say yes more, date again, and meet new people and get out to see what the world has in store for me. I'll drop a quick recap every Friday on how it's going. Here's what week one actually looked like.
Dating Again in Midlife: The Summer I Decided to Say Yes
I matched with a guy on a dating app. We planned a date. Thirty minutes later, he unmatched me.
That's how I'm opening The Summer of George.
I named it after the Seinfeld episode where George gets let go from his job, ends up with a three-month severance, and proclaims it the summer of George. That's me right now. Not unemployed, but standing in a quiet moment after four very busy months, looking around my house in Scottsdale, and deciding to do something about it.