What a Month in LA Taught Me About Getting Out of My Comfort Zone

I just wrapped a month in LA, and I'm going to say it plainly: it was the best decision I've made this year. Not close. I extended the trip an extra ten days because I didn't want it to end, and I drove home at 3:33 in the morning feeling like I'd jumped timelines.

Here's what actually happened, and why I'd tell any woman sitting in her own comfort zone to book the trip.

Why I Went Back to a City I Loved

I lived in LA right after college for about four and a half years. It was the first city I ever fell in love with. And then, the way these things go, it got harder and harder to live there, and I left. I moved to Northern California and stayed a lot longer than I ever planned to, because life has a way of telling you what you're doing whether you asked or not.

In March I went back down for an event and had the best time. The energy felt good. So when I knew the desert heat was coming, I thought, why not go back for a month? I can work from there, see friends, do the things I keep saying I'll do. So I did, and then I stayed ten more days.

What Getting Out of My Comfort Zone Actually Looked Like

I'd been telling myself I was going to do certain things since I moved to Arizona, and I just hadn't. So I went to LA and made a rule: this is what you're doing every day. And then I did it.

I went to a Dodgers game. Two comedy shows. Hikes where I accidentally went straight up a mountain for miles. The beach. I worked from cafés, took workout classes, went on dates, and met people in person I'd only ever known online. I ate incredibly well, including a viral chicken sandwich that lived up to every bit of the hype, a coconut cake so good I got out of bed at 2 a.m. to finish it, and a Korean spa scrub I'm still dreaming about.

None of that is groundbreaking on paper. But doing all of it, on purpose, every day, is what made me feel like a better version of myself by the time I left. Getting out of your comfort zone doesn't have to be one big dramatic leap. Most of the time it's just saying yes to the ordinary stuff you keep skipping.

The Friend I Thought I'd Lost for Good

Here's the part I didn't plan for.

A while back I recorded an episode about friendship being a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I made it partly because I'd just lost two friends, one who I don't think ever really liked me, and one who ghosted me. Fine. I wish them well. Adios.

But there was another friend in that story. Someone I'd been close to since I was 19. We called each other twin flames. I genuinely thought we'd grow old together, and when things went quiet between us, it wrecked me, even if I don't think I let myself feel how much.

She reached out while I was in LA. Completely out of the blue. We had lunch the next day, and I learned that I'd been a little right and mostly wrong about what happened between us. What actually happened was ten times worse than anything I'd assumed. And we're friends again. I can't tell you how happy that makes me.

That's the thing about getting out of your own city and out of your own way. You put yourself somewhere new, and life hands you something you didn't see coming.

What a Month Alone Gave Me

I keep hearing podcasters say summer is when everything slows down. Not for me. The month I spent doing all of this was the best month this show has ever had.

Getting out of my comfort zone didn't just change how I felt. It moved everything forward: the friendships, the work, the version of myself I kept saying I wanted to be and finally went and became. I left LA at 3:33 in the morning and I was on my couch with a cup of coffee by 9:45, already a different woman than the one who'd driven down there.

FAQ

Is it worth taking a solo trip in your 40s?

Yes. A solo trip in your 40s is one of the fastest ways to remember who you are outside of your routine. You set your own pace, you meet people you'd never cross paths with otherwise, and you come home more like yourself, not less.

How do you get out of your comfort zone?

Start small and make it a daily practice instead of one grand gesture. Say yes to the workout class, the café, the hike, the dinner alone. Getting out of your comfort zone is mostly about doing the ordinary things you keep talking yourself out of.

What does "a reason, a season, or a lifetime" mean in friendship?

It's the idea that people come into your life for one of three reasons: a specific purpose, a limited season, or the long haul. It's a way to make peace with friendships that end and stay open to the ones that circle back.

Should you reconnect with a friend after a falling out?

If the friendship mattered and you're reaching out from a genuine place, it can be worth it. Sometimes the story you told yourself about why it ended isn't the real one, and one honest conversation can bring the whole thing back.

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