What a Summer of Saying Yes Taught Me About Dating in My 40s
The Summer of George is over. Sixteen episodes, every single Friday, for four months.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started it. I knew where I'd be. What I didn't know was that it would turn into three completely different chapters. And now here we are at the end.
So this is the wrap. Why I called it The Summer of George, what my last two weeks in Greece looked like, why my Hinge is on pause, and what I'm doing next.
What Dating in Your 40s Taught Me in One Summer
I'm tired. Not the bad kind. The kind that lands after a summer that unfolded in ways I never saw coming, and finally lets you sit still and look at what actually happened.
This is the second-to-last week of my summer dating series, and I'm not here with another wild recap. I'm in Greece, the place I love more than anywhere, and I decided to spend these last weeks living a little softer. So instead of chasing one more story, I looked back at the four men I dated this summer and asked myself what I'm actually keeping from each one.
Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close (What I Learned in Three Weeks)
Three weeks. That's how long I saw a guy in Scottsdale before I left for Greece, and for three weeks he did everything right. He asked me out after every date. He let me be pursued. His texts weren't "morning, sexy" nonsense, they were plans, because we actually saw each other. His actions backed up his words. Then one morning they stopped, and I got a front-row seat to a question a lot of women in their 40s are asking: why do men pull away after getting close?
Why I Stopped Taking Dating Advice From My Friends
I'm writing this from Greece. Chapter three of The Summer of George, and I picked the dating diary back up right where I left it: seeing someone for about three weeks, and somewhere in those three weeks, the feelings I swore I wasn't looking for showed up anyway.
Which is funny, because when I started dating again I genuinely didn't think I'd meet anyone I actually liked. I figured it would be about going on dates and meeting people and filling my time. Not this. So now I'm 7,000 miles from home, feelings involved, and I've had a lot of slow Greek mornings to think about what I've actually learned about dating in my 40s.
I Swore I'd Never Do It Again. Then I Got Back on the Apps.
If you go back far enough in my old episodes, you'll hear me swear off dating apps completely. I hated them. I said I'd never do them again, probably more than once, and I fully meant it.
Then in June, I got back on one. And this whole summer happened because of it.
Dating Again After a Long Time: What It Actually Brings Up
I hadn't dated in a while. Not because I was hiding from it, I just hadn't. And when I got back out there, I found out fast that dating again does something no amount of alone time can do: it holds up a mirror and shows you exactly what you still need to work on.
Getting Ghosted After Making Plans: A Real Week Back on the Apps
He made the plans. Not me. He called me, asked me out, picked the day and the time himself. And then he went silent for four days and flaked the afternoon of the date with a text I still haven't heard back from.
Welcome to being back on the apps.
This is week nine of The Summer of George, and I'm out here dating again in a way I haven't in a while. Some of it is fun. Some of it is baffling. And this week gave me a little of both, so let me walk you through it.
Getting Back Into Dating in Midlife: What Two Years Off Taught Me
I've been out of the dating game for a couple of years. Not because anything went wrong. I got comfortable. I built a life I love, I got independent in a way that felt good, and dating just wasn't the thing I was reaching for. So when I got back on the apps this summer, I figured it would feel like riding a bike. It did not.
What a Month in LA Taught Me About Getting Out of My Comfort Zone
I just wrapped a month in LA, and I'm going to say it plainly: it was the best decision I've made this year. Not close. I extended the trip an extra ten days because I didn't want it to end, and I drove home at 3:33 in the morning feeling like I'd jumped timelines.
Here's what actually happened, and why I'd tell any woman sitting in her own comfort zone to book the trip.
Getting Back on Dating Apps in Your 40s When You've Been Single a While
For years, my answer to dating apps was a flat no. I'd been single a while. I was independent, comfortable in my own company, and I'd built a life I genuinely liked. Every time the apps came up, I passed. I'd tried them before and never once enjoyed the experience, so why sign up for more of that?
This summer I changed my mind. Not because being alone stopped working for me, but because I actually do want someone in my life, and you can't want that and keep doing nothing about it.