What a Summer of Saying Yes Taught Me About Dating in My 40s

The Summer of George is over. Sixteen episodes, every single Friday, for four months.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started it. I knew where I'd be. What I didn't know was that it would turn into three completely different chapters. And now here we are at the end.

So this is the wrap. Why I called it The Summer of George, what my last two weeks in Greece looked like, why my Hinge is on pause, and what I'm doing next.

Why I Called It The Summer of George

You've heard people declare a year of yes. A summer of yes. A month of yes. That's what this was, with a Seinfeld name on it.

In the 1997 Seinfeld episode, George Costanza gets three months of severance from the Yankees and proclaims it The Summer of George. I've always loved Seinfeld. I love a movie quote, I love a TV quote, and I've always said "it's the summer of George" just to be funny.

Then I found the clip on Instagram and thought, oh my God, this is what I need to do. So I took it and ran with it. It created a life of its own.

What Putting Myself Out There Actually Looked Like

For me it meant making myself uncomfortable. Trying the things I'd been saying I was going to try for months. Literally months, in some cases.

And it meant putting myself back out there to date. Genuinely, earnestly, intentionally.

I dated four different men over the course of the summer, and I broke down what I took from each of those experiences in last week's episode. I won't rehash it here.

What I will say is this. I'm a different, better version of myself because of this summer. I'm proud of myself. I'm so happy with the version of me I turned into.

Living in Greece for Myself

Greece is my happy place. My home away from home. So much impactful change in my life started here.

This was my third summer here on a long-term stay, and every one of them has given me something different. I didn't want to taint that. So I took the last two weeks and lived here the way I love to live here. The places I love. The friends I have here. A LOT of time outside.

Every time I'm here it gets confirmed for me: going outside is the best thing for us. Feeling down or restless, go outside. Feeling happy, go outside anyway. You'll get happier.

There's a spot on the waterfront I work from multiple times a week. I call it a cafe. It's technically a restaurant. I genuinely don't know the difference, and if you do, tell me. Great coffee, a white wine I like, a view of the sea, and Wi-Fi that connects the second I sit down. Home is where the Wi-Fi automatically connects.

The staff all know me now. The other day the hostess asked if I wanted my table. Yes. Yes, I do.

A friend of mine is starting a food tour business, and I went on her maiden voyage. Of every restaurant we hit, I'd been to exactly one. I'd turn down a street I'd never walked and then realize I knew exactly where I was, because the coffee shop I go to was right there.

The Bird Incident

Feel free to laugh at me. It was rather comical.

In the middle of that food tour, a bird shit on my head.

We were walking along the waterfront under the awnings the cafes roll out in the afternoon. I felt something hit my head and assumed we'd walked under an AC unit. Gross, but fine. Then I thought, no. That hit harder than water. I touched the back of my head, pulled my hand down, and lo and behold, brown.

A girl on the tour helped me clean up in a very dimly lit restaurant bathroom. We thought we got it all.

We did not.

The next stop happened to be right downstairs from my apartment, so I hustled up to check. I pulled my hair up and found a squiggle of turd dried into the top of my head.

I got it out. I rejoined the tour. Outfit on, makeup great, and my hair, despite the poop, also looked great. Then I had to wash it that night, so there went the next day's good hair day.

This is the second time in my life. The first was 2013 in Cambodia, sitting by the pool at our BnB. That time I just dove in.

And yes, I keep specifying "by a bird." Nothing else has ever shit on me. Let's just make that clear.

Why I'm Taking a Break From Dating Apps

My Hinge is on pause. Not deleted. Paused.

I refreshed it first. More recent photos, even though every picture on there was already from this calendar year. I changed a prompt.

It goes back on when I'm in Scottsdale, after two weekends I need behind me. My 30-year high school reunion in California, and a mastermind in Scottsdale I'm speaking at and am super excited about. Once those are done, I'll have the bandwidth to dip my toe back in the dating pool and see what happens between now and the end of the year.

What could possibly happen? Who knows. If this summer taught me anything, put yourself out there. You'll be surprised at what happens.

What Comes Next: Kiss & Tell

I'm looking forward to a little break from recording. I recorded these immediately, edited them, and put them out, every week. It was a content machine. Kudos to anyone putting out long-form every single day.

But I love to write. So I'm launching a Substack called Kiss & Tell, because it played along with the Scarlet Edit vibe.

The free tier is once a week. I'll take something from an episode and go deeper. A story I haven't told, or a new lens on an old experience, because I keep learning and I keep having different thoughts on the things I've lived. I'll link the episode it connects to.

The paid tier alternates. One week is my diary. What am I doing, am I dating again, what's happening there. The Summer of George in written form. The other week is confessions. You DM me or email me, tell me something or ask me something, and I answer it. Anonymous, always, because that's the only fair way to do it. You ask the best questions, and a lot of my solo episode ideas come straight from you.

I always say I'm my own best audience. This summer, I had company.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the Summer of George?

The Summer of George comes from a 1997 Seinfeld episode where George Costanza gets three months of severance from the Yankees and declares it his summer. My Summer of George was my own summer of yes: four months of putting myself out there, getting uncomfortable, and dating again on purpose, released every Friday on The Scarlet Edit.

Does pausing Hinge delete your matches?

No. Pausing Hinge hides your profile from new people while you can still chat with your existing matches. Pausing does not pause a paid subscription, so if you're paying, you'll need to cancel through your phone's app store.

Why would you pause a dating app instead of deleting it?

For me it was bandwidth. I had a high school reunion and a speaking event back to back, and I wanted those behind me before dating again. I refreshed my photos and a prompt before pausing, so my profile is ready when I turn it back on.

How do you put yourself out there dating in your 40s?

For me it meant saying yes to the things I'd been saying I would do for months, making myself uncomfortable, and dating genuinely and intentionally instead of waiting. I dated four men over one summer and came out of it a better version of myself.

What is Kiss & Tell on Substack?

Kiss & Tell is my Substack. The free tier is a weekly essay that goes deeper on a Scarlet Edit episode. The paid tier alternates between my personal diary and anonymous reader confessions that I answer.

🕸️Waiting to be chosen? Download The Affair Edit.
🌱 Tired of performing? Get The Self-Worth Reset.
❤️‍🔥 Want to learn more about The Scarlet Edit? Start here.
🍒 Interested in working with me? Let’s chat.
📲 Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify or YouTube so you don’t miss an episode!
💌 Want more conversations like this? Sign up for the newsletter below.