I Shared My Biggest Secret With the World

and Still Put Myself in a Box

Here's the thing about sharing your story publicly.

You think once you say the hard part out loud — the part you've carried around for years, the part that makes people uncomfortable — you'll feel free. And in a lot of ways, you do. Starting The Scarlet Edit and telling the world I was the other woman for five years? That was liberating. The messages from women who said "oh my God, me too" — those made every uncomfortable moment worth it.

But what I didn't expect was the new box I'd build for myself.

Not the shame box. Not the secrecy box. A different one. The "how do I show up now" box. The "what am I allowed to talk about" box. The one where I'm overthinking every post, every hook, every caption — and suddenly this thing that I love feels like a performance.

Sound familiar?

A year ago I was sitting in the exact same place trying to figure out how to put myself out there. I had a podcast I loved. I had a past that shaped me. And I had no idea how to connect the two in a way that felt authentic.

Fast forward to now and I've done it. I shared the story. I built the show. But somewhere along the way, I started second-guessing myself again. Not about what I've shared — I'm beyond grateful for The Scarlet Edit and everything it's become. But about what comes next.

This week I had a handful of conversations with people who are new to me. They asked what the show is about, what drives me, why I'm so passionate about it. And then I had a conversation with my business coach that made things click.

I realized I'd been trying to fit myself into a version of this show that was too small.

So I sat down and rewrote the entire podcast description. And when I finished, I got tears in my eyes because for the first time it actually captures all of it — me, the show, and the women I'm here for.

I read the full thing in this week's episode, so go listen if you haven't. But the core of it is this: The Scarlet Edit is for the woman who has been the other woman and never had a safe place to talk about it. For the woman going through a divorce she didn't see coming. For the woman stuck in a marriage that looks fine on the outside but feels dead on the inside. For the woman dating again after years who has no idea what she's doing.

For anyone who's been told their story makes them less worthy of love.

It doesn't.

One thing I talk about in this episode — and will keep saying — is that affairs are a symptom, not the problem. There's always something else going on that leads people to that place. And the more we can talk about it openly, the better off we all are.

I've gotten messages from couples in happy relationships who say the show helps them communicate differently. I've heard from women currently in affairs who say the podcast gave them the push to leave. I've even heard from women who were cheated on who said they came in skeptical but walked away thinking about things differently.

That's the whole point. Not to glorify anything. Just to talk about it honestly.

I also get real in this episode about what it's like to date when your history is public information. I went through a phase of being upfront about my past with every guy I went out with. You know what happened? I attracted unavailable men. Every. Single. Time.

So I stopped doing that. And now? My story is out there for anyone with a search engine to find. And I'm genuinely okay with it. Because whoever I end up with is going to love me for who I am — all of it. And if a chapter in my past is part of what made me who I am today? They're going to be grateful for it.

And if you're in a similar spot, I want you to feel the same way about yourself. Because you are not only one chapter of your life. You're the sum of all of them.

At the end of the day, this whole thing — the podcast, the sharing, the putting yourself out there — it comes down to one thing.

Just fucking try.

If it doesn't work, at least you know. If it takes a different direction than you expected, cool — maybe you end up somewhere you never imagined. The beauty is in the evolution.

I'm proud of myself for having the courage to do this. And I'm grateful you're here for it.

Listen to the full episode wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday morning.

❤️‍🔥 Want to learn more about The Scarlet Edit? Start here.
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