I Never Called Him

And why that is totally insane.

This week's episode made me think about how insane some of my relationship habits were.

Like, truly insane.

After I recorded Monday's episode about Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, I kept thinking about something I touched on but didn't fully explore: the habits that affairs create.

Habits that feel completely normal when you're in it, but when you're on the other side, you're like "what the actual fuck was I thinking?"

Here's one that still blows my mind: I never randomly called my boyfriend during our entire relationship.

Not because he told me I couldn't. Not because it was explicitly forbidden. It just... became normal not to.

I mean, how insane is that? The person you're most intimate with, and you can't just pick up the phone and call them in the middle of a Tuesday?

But that's what affairs do. They normalize things that aren't normal.

Not spending weekends together? Normal.

Never bringing your boyfriend around friends or family? Normal.

Keeping your entire relationship a secret? Normal.

And here's the thing that really got me: these habits followed me into my next relationship. After my affair ended, I got into a secretive situationship, and it was SO easy for me because I was already used to keeping secrets.

That's when I realized how dangerous these patterns are.

In this episode, I talk about why these habits develop, how power dynamics and age gaps play into it, and the moment I realized I was frustrated more often than I was happy.

That's when I knew I had to choose myself and walk away.

If you've ever been in a relationship where you accepted less than you deserved, or if certain red flags felt normal because you were so deep in it, this episode is for you.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

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