Fantasies, Kinks & Fetishes

And how to talk about them.

This week’s guest made me a little uncomfortable.

Not in a bad way, but in a “oh shit I don’t usually talk about this stuff, I feel embarrassed” kind of way.

Oh and then in the “my dad listens to this podcast” kind of way, too.

I then wondered if this is how other people feel when I so easily talk about affairs?

Amanda Dames is a Certified Sex and Relationship Coach, Sexologist, and former professional dominatrix with over a decade of hands-on experience in the world of kink. Her instagram, The Kink Consultant, has over 164,000 followers and she coaches couples to help them embrace their desires with confidence, navigate kinky relationships, and break free from shame.

If you listen regularly to The Scarlet Edit, you’ll know that I often talk about communication being the key to success for any type of relationship.

In this episode, Amanda and I talked about fantasies, fetishes and kink - the differences between the three, and most importantly, how and when to have these discussions.

In her experience, kinksters often do look outside their marriages and relationships to explore their kinks, because they have been rejected or shamed when bringing them up, or, feel like they can’t bring them up at all.

Also, one surprising fact to me is that the way kink is portrayed in media & film is usually much more extreme than things actually are.

For example: I’d bet you think of kinks as someone wanting to pee on their partner (Sex & the City when Carrie dates the politician??), being tied up, whips and chains or even a red room (50 Shades of Grey, anyone??).

But kinks can be as simple as a light spanking, hair pull or mild submission.

If there is one thing I know to be true after 6 months of great guests on The Scarlet Edit, these conversations are needed.

Can they be uncomfortable? Yes.

Do you want to admit that you were curious about some of these topics? Not always.

But providing a space where the conversations are had and shared is an honor and a responsibility I don’t take lightly.

Check out this week’s episode and send me a DM letting me know what you think.

Rate it on Apple and I’ll be your best friend.

And dad, when you listen, just keep it to yourself. 😅

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