Wanting a Boyfriend Isn’t Embarrassing — Settling Is

And Being Single Doesn’t Make You “Less Than”

Happy Thanksgiving to all my U.S. readers, and a very big hello!!!! to the listeners tuning in from 52 countries. That number still feels unreal to me, and if you’re reading this from Australia or Canada, you’re officially my second and third biggest audiences. I’m grateful for all of you.

This week’s episode is a solo reflection inspired by a Vogue opinion piece titled:
“Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?”

It’s a wild question, but it sent me spiraling — in the best way — into what it actually means to want partnership while living a full, independent, self-built life.

As a 47-year-old single woman who has been married, divorced, partnered, and in a situationship I definitely should not have been in… I have thoughts. And I shared all of them.

Here’s a small preview of what I unpack in the episode.

How Our Perceptions Get Formed

I talk about the three things that shape the way we move through relationships:

• Our experiences

• Our environment

• Our wants and needs

When you understand those three things not just for yourself, but also for the people giving you “advice”, everything makes a lot more sense.

I share a moment when a friend’s opinion about my love life finally clicked… because she was projecting her current desires (marriage, kids) onto my situation. That shift changed everything about how I share my personal life.

The Dating Landscape Is Chaotic - But That Doesn’t Make Joy Embarrassing

There’s this strange narrative online that finding love is braggy, boastful, or insensitive.
That if dating is “hard for everyone,” you should hide your happiness.

Absolutely not.

Your joy doesn’t become offensive just because the dating landscape is a mess. And someone else’s happiness isn’t a personal attack.

The Independent Woman Thing Is Amazing - But It’s Not the Whole Story

I talk about how the pendulum has swung so far into hyper-independence that some women feel like wanting a boyfriend makes them look weak.

But two things can be true:

You can build a beautiful life on your own and want someone to share it with.
You can be independent and desire connection.
You can be strong and want love.

It’s not embarrassing to want partnership — what’s embarrassing is pretending you don’t care when you actually do.

Wanting vs. Needing

This is a big theme in the episode.

You can want someone without needing someone.
And being single doesn’t mean you’re incomplete, behind, or “less than.”

Your worth isn’t tied to your relationship status and neither is your wholeness.

Don’t Settle Just to Have Someone

I talk about how you should never lower your boundaries, expectations, or values just to avoid being single.

Wanting a boyfriend isn’t embarrassing.
Settling for someone who can’t meet you where you are?
That’s the part that should make you pause.

A Little Future Hope

I share a moment of clarity about my own life — that my person is out there, building his own world, and when it’s right, we’ll find each other.

Not because I need him.
But because it’ll be the right fit when the timing lines up.

Listen to the Full Episode

You can catch the full conversation on The Scarlet Edit. It’s honest, introspective, and a perfect companion if you’re navigating the tension between independence and desire.

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