The Prenup Conversation We Should All Be Having

Marriage Has Rules. Make Your Own.

This week on The Scarlet Edit, I sat down with California family law attorney Deveney Wells-Gibson, also known as the Prenup Queen. If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable even hearing the word prenup, this episode is going to shift something in you.

Prenups have been framed as divorce planning. They’ve been seen as a lack of trust, a backup plan, a sign that one person is preparing for the end. But that’s not what they’re built for. As Deveney explains, a prenup is really the government saying, “If you don’t like our default marriage laws, you can create your own.”

Most couples have no idea how their state will divide assets, debt, credit obligations, or income if the relationship ends. Community property, equitable distribution, shared debt, inherited assets — these rules were written decades ago, when the financial roles in marriage looked very different. And they don’t match the reality most women are living today.

Deveney has seen the same patterns repeatedly in divorce court: women who didn’t know the full financial picture, women blindsided by debt, women whose lives were turned upside down because they never had a conversation they assumed they’d never need. A prenup isn’t a prediction. It’s clarity. It’s transparency. It’s two adults defining what’s fair for their relationship before they legally merge their lives.

We also talk about why money conversations feel so intimidating, how shame around debt silences people, how credit scores impact major decisions like buying a home, and why financial transparency creates partnership rather than tension. If anything, the prenup process forces the conversations that strengthen a relationship instead of weakening it.

One of the stories Deveney shares is a hard one to hear. It’s a reminder that even the most “amicable” marriages can change the moment divorce paperwork is filed. The law doesn’t care what your verbal agreements were. Without something in writing, you are subject to rules that may have nothing to do with your actual values.

This episode is a perspective shift for anyone dating, committed, engaged, or considering marriage. It’s especially relevant if you’ve already lived a life or two and you’re entering a relationship with assets, savings, investments, or financial goals of your own. These conversations are not cold. They’re not unromantic. They’re responsible. They’re aligned. They are part of choosing the right partner, not preparing to leave one.

If you’ve ever believed prenups were only for the wealthy, or only for people who assume their relationship will fail, this episode will change your mind.

If you want to hear the full conversation, you can listen to the episode now.

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