Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close (What I Learned in Three Weeks)
Three weeks. That's how long I saw a guy in Scottsdale before I left for Greece, and for three weeks he did everything right. He asked me out after every date. He let me be pursued. His texts weren't "morning, sexy" nonsense, they were plans, because we actually saw each other. His actions backed up his words. Then one morning they stopped, and I got a front-row seat to a question a lot of women in their 40s are asking: why do men pull away after getting close?
Getting Ghosted After Making Plans: A Real Week Back on the Apps
He made the plans. Not me. He called me, asked me out, picked the day and the time himself. And then he went silent for four days and flaked the afternoon of the date with a text I still haven't heard back from.
Welcome to being back on the apps.
This is week nine of The Summer of George, and I'm out here dating again in a way I haven't in a while. Some of it is fun. Some of it is baffling. And this week gave me a little of both, so let me walk you through it.
Getting Back on Dating Apps in Your 40s When You've Been Single a While
For years, my answer to dating apps was a flat no. I'd been single a while. I was independent, comfortable in my own company, and I'd built a life I genuinely liked. Every time the apps came up, I passed. I'd tried them before and never once enjoyed the experience, so why sign up for more of that?
This summer I changed my mind. Not because being alone stopped working for me, but because I actually do want someone in my life, and you can't want that and keep doing nothing about it.
Dating When Your Past Is Public: What Happened When a Hinge Match Googled Me
When I started The Scarlet Edit, I wasn't thinking about my dating life. I was thinking about the show. It didn't cross my mind that putting my whole story out into the world would follow me onto the apps. But it does. I'm single, I'm on Hinge, and I'm Googleable. My Instagram bio says I was the other woman for five years. Anyone I match with can find that in about thirty seconds.
So what actually happens when a date knows your past before he knows you? This week I found out.