Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone in a New City: What I Learned in Week Three of Summer of George

I could have done all of this from home.

That's the question I kept getting asked once I told people I was spending the summer in Los Angeles as part of my Summer of George series. Couldn't I have joined a gym in Scottsdale? Couldn't I have worked from a coffee shop there? Technically, yes. But I wouldn't have. And that's the whole point.

Why Comfort Is the Problem, Not the Solution

When you're at home, you're comfortable. You know your routines, your favorite spots, your go-to excuses. It's easy to tell yourself you'll get out more and then just... work from home again. Add Arizona summer heat into the mix — the kind that feels like it reaches your bones — and staying in stops being a choice. It becomes the default.

Getting out of your comfort zone in a new city works because the defaults disappear. There's no version of "I'll just stay home" when home is temporary and the whole point of being there is to show up differently. That's been the real engine behind week three. Not the palm trees. The lack of an escape hatch.

Building Confidence in Midlife Starts With Small, Physical Things

I joined a gym the first week I got here, and I've been going every single day — a class, the equipment, whatever gets me moving. But the part that's actually shifted something in me is smaller than that. It's freshening up before I leave the house. Not a whole production. Just clothes that feel good, maybe some makeup, maybe pulling my hair back. It's not about impressing anyone. It's about walking out the door already feeling good about how I'm showing up, so that if I run into someone, or someone strikes up a conversation, I'm meeting that moment from a place of confidence instead of scrambling to catch up to it.

That's what building confidence in midlife actually looks like day to day. It's not a mindset shift you talk yourself into. It's a series of small physical decisions that add up to feeling like yourself in public.

Working From Coffee Shops Changed My Whole Week

I know this isn't a groundbreaking discovery, but it rearranged something for me anyway. I sat in a coffee shop for three hours one day this week and got more done than I expected — including things I wasn't even actively working on that just came together. There's something about being around other people, whether they're working too or just having lunch, that pulls you into a rhythm you don't get sitting alone at home. If you're looking for a low-effort way to start getting out of your comfort zone in a new city, this is it. You don't have to talk to anyone. You just have to be around people.

The Dating Update: No Dates, But Real Energy

Everyone keeps asking, so here it is. No actual dates yet. But there's been movement. I went to a birthday party last weekend — a real house party, not a kid's milestone event — and met a lot of new people. Everyone was easy to talk to, the weather was perfect, and one of the guests was genuinely, very handsome. We talked. That was it. Nothing came of it beyond the conversation itself.

But there's something to that. There's an energy to talking with someone you find attractive that doesn't need to lead anywhere to matter. Midlife dating confidence isn't only built on dates that go somewhere. Sometimes it's built on proving to yourself that the spark still works, that you can walk into a room of strangers and hold your own in a conversation that feels good for no other reason than that it feels good.

How Networking Confidence in Your 40s Looks Different

Earlier in my career, I avoided networking events completely. It came down to self-confidence — the quiet belief that nobody would actually want to talk to me, that I didn't have anything to offer. That's not where I am anymore.

This week, a LinkedIn connection I'd never met in person — someone I only knew from online — turned into cocktails at Soho House in West Hollywood. We're both Greek, which meant the conversation had an instant kind of shorthand to it. We talked about where we grew up, our careers, travel, food. It was easy. It was good. And it's a reminder that if you've got someone in your network you've never met in person and you're ever in the same city, take the meeting. It's a small ask with a genuinely good return.

The Bigger Picture

None of this week was groundbreaking on its own. No big dates, no dramatic reinvention story. Just a gym routine, a few good coffee shop afternoons, one honest conversation at a party, and one rooftop cocktail with someone I'd only known through a screen. That's what getting out of your comfort zone in a new city actually looks like in real time — small, unremarkable choices that only add up to something when you look back at the whole week.

Next week brings the one-year anniversary episode of The Scarlet Edit. I can’t believe that it is here, but also so amazed at all that has happened and all that is to come.

FAQ

Why is getting out of your comfort zone easier in a new city than at home?

At home, familiar routines make it easy to default back to staying in. In a new city, those defaults don't exist yet, which removes the easiest excuse to skip out on new experiences.

How do small daily habits build confidence in midlife?

Small physical choices — getting dressed, freshening up, showing up somewhere instead of staying home — build confidence because they change how you feel walking into a room, not just what you think about yourself.

Does networking get easier with age?

For many people, yes. Networking anxiety is often rooted in self-confidence rather than the events themselves, and that confidence tends to grow with experience and self-worth work over time.

What if you're building dating confidence but haven't actually been on a date?

Confidence isn't only proven through dates. Conversations that feel good, without expectation or outcome, can be just as valuable in rebuilding a sense of ease around dating and attraction.

Is working from a coffee shop actually more productive than working from home?

Many people find that being around other people, even without direct interaction, creates a rhythm and focus that's harder to access working alone at home.

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